Living Room Technology
When I was a junior
in college in the early 70s (that is 1970s and not the 1870s) there was an
offer from Crazy TV Lenny at the American Store on the Beltline for a receiver,
speakers, turntable for under $500. Crazy
TV Lenny even threw in a 10 speed bike.
The offer was too good to pass up.
A year after my TV Lenny purchase,
my roommate decided to sell me his Dolby cassette player which could be
directed into the receiver after he left
for a job in Alaska. For many
years I was happy with my turntable,
receiver, cassette tape deck, and speakers. The 10 speed bike fell apart and went to the
junkyard three years later.
For those who never experienced TV Lenny, TV Lenny
was an institution in Madison. He took
over a failing electronics shop, American TV, and turned it into a successful
business by a combination of crazy advertising and business acumen. He sold the business and the people taking
over the business failed to continue his approach. American TV filed for bankruptcy in 2014.
In future years, I
was able to avoid the 8 track tape craze. I neither had the money or hot car to
install an 8 track tape machine. But I
chose the wrong side of the beta tape - VHS tape war and bought a beta tape player
that was soon obsolete and was replaced by a VHS machine.
After my left knee
replacement on November 20, 2017, I have been forced to sit in a
rocker-recliner located on the north side of the living room and stare at the
current electronic gadgets located for the most part on the south side of the
living room. I look at our current
technology configuration and shake my head as I recall the TV Lenny days.
We still have the
dependable receiver, speakers, and turntable.
But in the last five years we now have an Internet modem, CD player, DVD
player, DVD blu-ray player, WII playstation, Uniden telephone center, and Smart
TV. All of this equipment has LED emitting diodes that supply a
kaleidoscope of colors whether it is on or off.
The red, blue, and green LED lights brighten the living room even when
everyone is in bed. If anyone walked
past our house and can see the living room past 10:30 pm it would appear we are
working hard using a massive computer system. Perhaps this light display and
false impression of activity has saved us from potential interlopers. It may be one of the hidden benefits of
owning all of this stuff.
The south wall also
has a bookcase and entertainment center to contain and feed the gadgets. We
have vinyl records. (We had them even
before they became popular again.). We also have CDs and DVDs. Some of the CDs we never listen to and some
of the DVDs we have never seen the movies or old TV shows contained in their
pretty boxes. We even have DVDs for the Wii PlayStation that are bunched
together expecting to be used but never see the blue light of the Wii.
We have additional
electronic gadgets in other parts of the living room. We have Alexa from Amazon
which listens to our conversations. We
tell Alexa to play music from a radio station ever so often to give her something
to do. We have an IPOD and IPAD. I have
a Nook e-reader that I never figured out how to use. We also have two dumb cellphones.
(Yes, I guess we are
heretics in this age of smartphones. Our
two kids have smartphones which they "cannot live without". Jean, my wife, uses her cellphone for calling
and texting people. She is perfectly
happy with the ability of her dumb cellphone which disappoints our cellphone
carrier, U. S. Cellular.
Me, on the other
hand, only owned a dumb cellphone because other people in the family were
concerned I may be in a place where there was no telephone and that I would
need to contact someone. Since that
decision was made four years ago I needed the cellphone two times. Because I use the cellphone so often it sits
in a case in a different room strategically placed so I can't hear it if it
rings. I do not know what all of the
different buttons do and have no interest in finding out.
Why, am I so out of
the smartphone mainstream? I see people
with smartphones and they are always on or peering at their cellphones. It appears to me the cellphone takes their time
without supplying any benefit. I think
napping is a better use of time. But that is my take. Oh, by the way, I have no idea what my dumb
cellphone number is and so do not ask.)
Controlling my TV in
college was simple. You turned it on and
the antenna would find between one and three channels. To turn off the TV you pushed a knob. The journey from the couch to turn on or off
the TV may be all of the exercise occurring on that day of TV viewing but it
was exercise nonetheless.
Today we have a
dizzying amount of remotes. (Yes, I know
it is possible to consolidate all of the many remotes into one remote but I
neither have the patience or understanding to do that.) We have a remote for the TV, the cable, the
DVD player, and the blu-ray player. The
cable TV remote has buttons that I am afraid to push because bad things may
happen. The DVD player remotes have
buttons to start, rewind, end and do other things as you watch the DVD. The different colored buttons begin with
black and also have blue and red. The
red button does not appear to do anything when pressed, I hope.
With all of this
technology we now have access to a great number of cable TV stations we never
use, NETFLIX, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, and cellphone calls from credit card
companies telling us we are negligent in not obtaining their credit card. The occasional wrong number from a drunk
calling from a bar in San Diego also makes the cellphone a modern convenience
we look forward to using. I also must
admit I cannot figure out what Facebook can do and have no idea what to do with
Twitter. I am afraid if I learn how to use Twitter, if that is possible, I may
get an errant tweet from the White House which is pretty scary under the
present administration.
So you can see that
if someone graded me on technology knowledge today I would hover near a D or D
minus and coasting downward to an F. But
I can live with that. I am afraid as to what I will need to know about the next
electronic gadget that I asked for, a camera.
Oh, you say I have a camera in my dumb phone. Really?
But if you want to
go back in time and not deal with the electronics we have books located in
another bookcase on the east side of the
living room. These books are silent
witnesses to the lights and glitz of the electronic gadgets on the south side.
The books have one advantage over the electronics; they do not require
electricity.
As I sit here in my
rocker-recliner recuperating from the knee replacement, the smart TV, Alexa,
and other various electronic wonders are waiting for me to press a remote or
issue a voice command. I think I will
sit in my chair, take a nap, and keep them guessing.
