Crashing

My diabetic nurse two months ago was adamant, "You must exercise to keep your blood sugar numbers down!"

Her statement was not much of a surprise.  I was diagnosed as a Type II diabetic as a Christmas present in 1999.  Since then I had a number of discussions with people versed in diabetic knowledge.  The exercise part of the quarterly diabetes discussion was absent while I worked because I rode my bike back and forth to work for 10 months of the year.  I chickened out when we had lightning associated with thunderstorms, large quantities of snow associated with blizzards, and temperatures below 10 degrees Fahrenheit.

Now that I was retired,  not needing to ride my bicycle to work, and I could actually move my left leg in a circular motion after my November 20, 2017 knee replacement, I responded, "I will  ride my bike to keep my blood sugar in check."

The response was, "Good.  Ride at least an hour each day."

So I am now back to bike riding.  I enjoy the bike ride each morning unless it is raining or the bike breaks.  The bike's rear tire has a tendency to acquire broken spokes which stops the bike riding until the spokes are replaced.   I do not ride fast.  People pass me regularly and look back wondering how anyone can ride so slowly.    My one hour or more ride gives me time to think.  As I was riding one day, I thought, "I can't think of anything I am good at while riding a bike.  There must be something I am good at. "

My brain came up with the answer about something that I am exceptional at doing, crashing. After living for 63 years, one can take an introspective appraisal of strengths and weaknesses.  The inventory of strengths is a short list.  The length of weaknesses is considerably longer.  I am not sure whether crashing into something and hurting yourself should be taken as a strength or weakness.

My initial crash was when I was 10 months old and I was not the cause of the crash but the recipient.  My parents and I were riding along in a car.  I was in the front seat in a baby seat.  A car hit us broadside.  We all landed in the hospital. I went through a series of operations on my legs to correct problems with my legs as a result of the car crash.  

I can blame that crash on my parents but the rest of the crashes I must take responsibility.

My best friend in high school saved money and purchased a Harley Davidson motorcycle.  His motorcycle was the type termed a "hog".  I thought, at least I think was my idea, to also purchase a Harley Davidson motorcycle so that I could ride with him.  My problem was I had limited funds and a "hog" was not a possibility.  Another thought I had was that I was much more comfortable traveling on four wheels rather than two driving 60 miles per hour down a county road.  With limited funds, I was able to purchase a small Harley.  The Harley would get up to 60 on a county road if you pushed it.  The Harley had its troubles.  The battery would not function properly and the headlights would turn off when the battery was not fully charged.  The headlights would turn off while riding it which was against the law.  Unfortunately I did not know the headlights were off until I stopped the motorcycle. I think I rode with my friend once with our two Harleys when mine was in working order.

The motorcycle's light idiosyncrasy was not responsible for my most memorable motorcycle crash.

One day I decided to take the motorcycle into a friend's father's pasture to practice my motorcycle skills, which were not many.  I was riding up and down the pasture when I made a mistake and hit the gas rather than the brakes.  The motorcycle when careening into a barbed wire fence.  I tore up the fingers on my left hand which required stitches at a local hospital.  Shortly after that crash I parked the motorcycle in my friend's parent's garage and walked away.  I figured I was not a motorcycle rider and if I continued, I would hurt more than my fingers. I am not sure what he did with the motorcycle and I did not care.

The remaining notable crashes occurred with nonmotorized transportation, a bicycle.  A friend told me once,  "I saw a statistical analysis once.  People that ride bikes a lot tend to crash once every two years.  That is just the nature of bike riding."  I met his criteria for crashing based on his statistics.

I can crash at any time at any place in Madison.  I crashed twice along the Lake Monona bike path -- once in winter and once in fall.  I crashed once in the Pacific Cycle parking lot which is located a block from where I live.  I have also crashed into a tree that fell across  the Southwest bike trail going to work when it was pitch dark.  

I offer two stories about notable crashes, one on May 20, 2014 and the other on August 18, 2018, as proof of my superior crashing ability.

The May 20th crash occurred as I was coming around a curve near Commonwealth Avenue in Madison at about 5:15 a.m. in the morning.  While I was still working I would rise from my bed at 4 a.m., shower, dress, eat and be on my bike by 5 a.m.  I could then start working by 5:30 a.m.  I could work a full hour and  get work done before the telephone started to ring.  I also liked biking that early in the morning because, for the most part, I was the only one biking at that time in the morning.

As I rounded the curve, I saw a fallen tree on the bike path.  The tree came up so quickly I did not have time to stop or slow the  bike down.  The tree stopped the bike but not me.  I flew over the handle bars and landed on the other side of the tree on my left side.  I tore my biking shirt on the left side and my left elbow immediately started to hurt.  I laid on the bike path, stunned.  I guess I then started to moan. I walked to the side of the bike path and sat down.  Mosquitoes then descended on me and I was too shocked to swat at them.  I looked at my left elbow and it had doubled in size within a minute after me and it hitting the pavement.

The moaning brought results because a couple living along the bike path had heard the moans.  They at first thought it was an animal.  Because the moaning continued, they became curious and ventured down to see what all the noise was about.  They found me. 

The couple was very kind.  They asked me who I was and then called Jean to let her know I was not getting to work anytime soon.  They suggested she come, pick me up, and take me to the hospital.  The husband retrieved the twisted bike from the tree and moved the tree off the bike path. 

The telephone call from the couple woke Jean from a sound sleep.  They told her to drive down and retrieve me from the bike path. She decided to take their advice and arrived soon after to pick stunned me and the smashed bike from near the crash site.

We then had a short dive to the Meriter Hospital emergency room with the smashed bike watching from the back seat of our van.  The doctors and nurses were very kind at the emergency room and cleaned and bandaged my left elbow.  They waited to laugh about my crash until after Jean and I left the emergency room.

As I remember, I did go back to work that day.  It took two months before my left elbow looked normal again.

My August 18th crash was not nearly as exciting as the May 20th crash but this time I crashed on my right side rather than the left side.  I am an equal opportunity crasher.

From where I live, I enter the Southwest bike path by going up an incline to a bridge which spans the major road in Madison called affectionately the Beltline.  As I was going up the incline another biker was coming down.  I tried to move over so that I would not hit the oncoming biker.  I overcompensated and the bike's front wheel slipped on the incline.  I went down.   I hit on my right side right in the middle of the incline.

The oncoming biker stopped, "Are you ok?  I was on my side of the rode.  You just lost it!"

My response was a moan.

"Did you break something?"

"No, I just think I skinned my right elbow."

"Let me see.  You did do a number. It is bleeding.  I will wet it down with water and wash off the dirt."  He used my water to wet it down and wash some of the dirt from the wound.   "I think you will be ok.  I am going on. Good luck."

I then sat down on a bench located near the ramp  for 15 minutes gathering my wits.  I blew out the front tire of the bike and so I could not ride the bike back home.  I walked the bike back home.

After I arrived home, Jean patched me right elbow.  I did not need the emergency room for this crash which was fortunate.  After a month, my right elbow is now looking normal again.

I did crash the next week but not with my bike.  I tripped on a decorative fence while fetching the mail from our house's front mailbox.  I fell into our split hardwood fence and knocked down the fence.  I also tore the skin in certain areas around my stomach.  This was a rather inconsequential crash and so there was no moaning involved.  I save the moaning for bike crashing.

So you see I may not ever be good at speed or endurance while riding my bicycle to keep my blood sugar down.  When other bikers pass me and look back wondering "How can anybody go that slow?" I can smile at them because I know I am better at one thing than they are, crashing.    I am not sure whether I should be or should not be proud of that accomplishment. Perhaps I should look back at them and moan rather than smile.